Ableism is
when you say that I don’t act
disabled
and expect me to take that
as a compliment.
Ableism is
when you assume
that I’m automatically strong
and courageous
simply because I’m disabled.
Ableism is
when my blindness becomes
your darkness…
when you wear my scars
in your sleeve
and pretend to understand
my truths.
Ableism is
when you try to heal me,
and fix me
and promise me that I will walk,
or see, or hear
or that I will be
everything I was really meant to be…
one day
in heaven.
Ableism is
believing that heaven
is an able-bodied place
where broken bodies finally
become whole.
Ableism is
when “whole”
is a word reserved
for the able-bodied, or
when you say that I’m beautiful
despite my differences,
and fail to recognize that I’m beautiful
because of them.
Ableism is
when you leave us to ripen
and rot
hanging from the vine
because you refuse to bite into our fruit.
Ableism is the fruit
of your fears.
Ableism is
when you think “sexy”
is not a word that applies to me.
Ableism is
you bragging about your independence
while you watch me struggle
to get free.
Ableism is
how free
you feel
to assume.
Ableism is
when you assume
I’m single….when you assume
I’m a virgin,
when you assume I hate my body
because in your narrow mind
how could I not?
Ableism is
when your discomfort becomes
a bigger barrier
than a flight of stairs.
Ableism is
when parents yank their kids away
and tell them not to stare
automatically teaching them
that disability
is a dirty word.
Ableism is
when you tell me how inspiring it is
to watch me work or watch me cook.
Ableism is
when you can’t look
at my scars
without cringing or feeling
like you have to say you’re sorry…
or like you owe me an apology
for my body
because I’m such a monster,
and your able-bodiedness almost
makes you feel guilty, and I say almost
because if it had,
you would not be so quick
to push me out of your mind with a
“Thank God it’s not me” curling
under your tongue like a snake.
Ableism is
when you make
plans that do not include
accessible venues, accessible spaces
so it becomes easier to erase me
from your list.
Ableism is
when you can pretend
disabled people don’t exist.
Ableism is
not being able to join your schoolmates
in the class picture or school play
because there is no ramp
to the stage.
Ableism is
our disabled lives
played
by nondisabled actors.
Ableism is nondisabled actors
who think they totally understand our struggles
because they got to play our role.
Ableism is
having to roll
on inaccessible sidewalks
because I have no choice.
Ableism is
the fact that I have no choice,
but you do.
Ableism is
when disabled parents
are told they should not be parents.
Ableism is
when you feel
that your baby is not safe with me,
or when you pat me on the head
as if I were a kid
and call me
cute.
Ableism is
when my service dog
gets kicked off the plane
because nondisabled passengers
complained.
Ableism is when I ask you for help
and you feel entitled
to choose for me.
Ableism is
nodding your head in understanding
instead of admitting
that you don’t have a clue what I said.
Ableism is
the fact that you’re afraid
to tell the truth.
Ableism is
making heroes out of people
who take disabled kids to the prom
and never talk to them again because
that one “good deed”
is good for at least ten years
if not a lifetime.
Ableism is
a lifetime of isolation,
a lifetime of segregation
a lifetime
of untold stories
of “Once upon a time
there was a cripple who could”
and for every cripple that could
there was and is an able-bodied person
who should
but doesn’t .
Ableism is
the fact that it doesn’t
matter because
unless you’re the one being oppressed,
unless it’s YOUR body
that fails,
it’s not YOUR problem
and you can push it away.
Out of sight,
out of mind.
Ableism is
leaving behind
the imperfect ones,
the ones that slow you down,
the ones that embarrass you.
Ableism is
the fact that we can embarrass you
just by siting in the same room
and breathing
the same air.
Ableism is
when you say it’s not fair
that I don’t have to wait in line.
Ableism is
thinking that I’m out of line
for demanding human rights.
Ableism is
when you say how lucky I am
that I get to sit all the time
while your poor able-bodied feet
get tired.
Ableism is you saying that, but deep down
feeling grateful you’re not me.
Ableism is
the way media portrays us
as either objects of pity
or inspiration.
Ableism is
inspiration
porn.
Ableism is when you say
disabled people should not do porn
because our bodies
are not something
anyone would want to see
naked.
Ableism is
your naked
bigotry,
peeking through the keyhole
of your closet.
Ableism is
how you want to lock us in the closet
and how you believe that giving us new labels
like physically challenged
and differently abled
is no longer labeling us.
Ableism is
making buses accessible
but not the streets leading
to the bus stop.
Ableism is
how the bus stop becomes
like a Forrest Gimp story
always waiting to be told.
Ableism is
when not even the back of the bus
was available to us
in the unwritten pages of our history
and how we have to become
our own crip version of Rosa Parks
every
single
day
to this day.
Ableism is
when you say that if God hasn’t healed me,
it is only because I
don’t have enough faith.
Ableism is
how your faith considers me
a punishment from God,
or how you try to pray
my differences away
as if they were demons.
Ableism is
the demons of your ignorance.
Ableism is
having accessible parking,
but denying us access
to the door.
Ableism is
how the Real Estate industry
continues building inaccessible homes
and acting as if eliminating a step
would be an eyesore, an offence,
a code violation.
Ableism is
the violation of our rights
done so quietly and shoving us under the rug.
Ableism is
when you tell ableist jokes
and expect me to think they’re funny.
Ableism is
how your version of funny
becomes my version of painful.
Ableism is how the rich play monopoly
with real properties
and make none of them
affordable or accessible.
Ableism is
when words like affordable
and accessible
are too good to be true.
Ableism is
saying there are no qualified
disabled applicants.
What you mean to say is:
Disabled people who can pass as nondisabled
are hard to find.
Ableism is
your ability to find
reasons to push us aside
to keeps us in cages,
leave our struggles
out of the history pages….
pretend we never
existed.
Ableism is
when you say I’m the only disabled friend
you’ve ever had.
Ableism is
when you say that and still don’t understand
why we feel
invisible.
Ableism is
when you think I don’t have a disability
because you can’t see it.
Ableism is
expecting me to always be brave
like Pollyanna.
Ableism is
thinking that if I’m in a bad mood,
it must be
because I’m disabled, and I must have
a “chip on my shoulder”.
Ableism is
expecting me to shoulder
your ableist beliefs
because the weight of my differences
are too heavy for you
to carry.
Ableism is
me having to carry
the guilt you force upon me.
Ableism is
when you think Autism
equals stupid,
and when stupid becomes
just another word to describe those like me.
Ableism is
when you use my hearing child
to interpret for you.
Ableism is
when I find myself
forced to use my hearing child
to interpret
for me.
Ableism is
when you say it’s not your fault
that I’m disabled,
but act as if it were mine.
Ableism is
always having to blame someone.
Ableism is
asking my friends
what I would like to order
because you fear not being able
to communicate with me.
Ableism is
the fact that you don’t even try.
Ableism is
when your disabled child
is the only one
that didn’t get invited
to the party.
Ableism is
when a political party
treats disability
as a mockery of our struggles.
Ableism is
when cops see my disability
as a threat.
Ableism is when it’s dangerous
just to be out
while cripple.
Ableism is
calling my needs “special”
and then ignoring them.
Ableism is
believing I need to be fixed.
Ableism is
you
refusing to fix
what’s really
broken.
Ableism is
painting our lives
like a tragic story.
Ableism is
our story
told by nondisabled voices
captured
through a nondisabled lens.
Ableism is
you
feeling like I should be grateful
for the ramps and the parking spaces
as if access
was not a basic right.
Ableism is
when my basic rights
are considered
a burden.
Ableism is
when you force unsolicited help upon me
because, to you, it seemed
like I needed it.
Ableism is
you thinking that my asking for help
gives you the right
to decide
for me.
Ableism is
when a relationship with me
is something you keep from your friends.
Ableism is
when you have sex with me
out of curiosity.
Ableism is
when your curiosity invades my space…
when your curiosity hurts
when your curiosity kills
my cat
and leaves me
wounded.
Ableism is
making those things essential to my survival
out of my financial reach, but call yourself
and ally
if I qualify
for the financial aid, or the loan
or the insurance premium
that would make you my friend.
Ableism is
when you pretend
to care
because you’re paid to care
but deep down
you don’t give a shit.
Ableism is
when you wish for a world
without disabled people
and you say that to me,
and expect me to agree
with you.
Ableism is
when you say that if you became disabled,
you would want to die.
Ableism is
wishing you could
help us die,
or wishing
you didn’t have to
help us live.
Ableism is
believing
disabled people
are better off
dead.
Ableism is
when you turn your head
the other way
and say that your able-bodied privilege
is not privilege
and refuse to see
that your privilege
is the face
of my
oppression.
Invite Maria R. Palacios to read this powerful piece to your disability studies class, sensitivity training or cultural awareness event. To contact the author, send email to palaciosmaria66@gmail.com. Subject line ABLEISM.
All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2017
April 2, 2017 at 1:38 am
What a beautiful poem. As a person with a number of disabilities, I can really, really relate to many of the statements above.
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April 2, 2017 at 1:54 am
TELL IT LIKE IT IS……………………………..LOVE TO READ THUS………….
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April 2, 2017 at 9:04 pm
Reblogged this on Civil Rights Advocacy and commented:
Poetry that speaks volumes!
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April 4, 2017 at 2:55 am
You gave words to my feelings. Validated my thoughts about what I and so many I know experience on a daily basis. Thanks
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April 4, 2017 at 5:38 am
Could you post an article to help people with disabilities deal with ablism? Ironically, the only concrete strategies I can find for this subject are designed for non-disabled people. Poor them. It is so hard for them to deal with it when the real people it affects have to be left out… Again. Find me one article with strategies for people with disabilities and I will eat my words, but if you could write one, that would be great. It would also be great if the strategies could be ones that would actually work instead of things that people tell you just so they don’t have to hear about your problems anymore like just ignore it and be positive.
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April 23, 2018 at 1:37 pm
Thank you so much for your suggestion to write about how to deal with ableism. Your comment is leading me to search even deeper into the ongoing cycle of ableism. I can only share from my personal experiences as they relate to the world and other disabled people, but I think I can I can get my muse to come up with something that satisfies your request. I’ll get on it. Just remember, more than likely it will be in poetic form. My muse is wild. She writes what she wants and I just ride along.
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September 13, 2020 at 8:24 pm
Never knew what Ableism meant until i read it here and understood what is going on very interesting to learn about it
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March 25, 2021 at 8:59 pm
“Ableism is when the cops see my disability as a threat”…. I really broke down at that part and am still welling up with tears just now thinking about it. I’m masking all the time… but especially in front of cops. It’s always hard for me to act in ways that are socially acceptable but when cops are involved it quickly becomes life and death or the difference between my autonomy or being institutionalized.
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