The piece below was inspired by last nights’ Sins Invalid discussion “Crib Bits, Fucking While Crippled”.   “Crippin’ sex” was part of the conversation in this honest and empowering discussion about disabled sexuality.

 

Crippin’ Sex

By Maria R. Palacios

 

Crippin’ sex means

taking the word crip

and owning it

as part of what makes us

sexy.

Crippin’ sex means

understanding that sexy

is something we

define.

We choose how we wine and dine

and cripty-nine

ourselves

and our lovers.

It means we feel at home

in our disabled bodies

understanding and professing that NOBDDY

has the right to live for us.

It means remembering that we’re the only ones

who have the right to say yes,

or no

or change our minds.

 

Crippin’ sex means

we decide

how we share ourselves

and whether we do it all at once

or in bits and pieces of our lives

while protecting the parts of ourselves

that have been teased or ridiculed,

medicalized,

assigned a number and a chart,

and words like

freak or

broken or

deformed

and all those other words that formed

the insecurities

and fears that feed the lies we’ve been told

about sex

in our disabled bodies.

 

Crippin’ sex means

loving every bit of us,

baptizing our differences as sexy,

and sacred

and desirable.

 

Crippin’ sex means

defining desirable

within the context of bodies like look like ours

making disability a sexy word,

making crip be the norm

when we define desire.

 

Crippin’ sex means

recognizing our personal flame, and

the beauty of our fire

acknowledging that, although beautiful,

fire also burns.

It means respecting its power

as part of who we are.

 

Crippin’ sex means

feeling the heat

of our desirability,

knowing that our abilities

belong to us.

Crippin’ sex means

not giving a fuck

about those who resent

our rights.

It means

knowing we have the right to consent.

We have the right to love.

We have the right to fuck

until the cows come home

and then some

because we can fuck like bunnies

and lay crip chocolate eggs

for a pagan crip party

that celebrates the rebirth of crip

as sexy,

beautifully irreverent

spiritual embodiment of sex

when crip comes to life

as a word

of sexy resurrection of self

leading to a communion with Love.

 

Crippin’ sex means

self-love

magnified by the force

of our personal recognition of it,

our personal awareness of who we are

as sexual beings, as crips,

as lovers,

as hungry, lusty, thirsty,

moaning, nail digging,  flesh biting

animalistic creatures

we become

when we give ourselves

the chance to give ourselves

fully

to somebody we trust,

to somebody we love,

to somebody we choose

even when there is no love…

just sex.

It is about feeling loved

just

the way

we are.

 

Crippin’ sex mean

learning the hotness

of other disabled people,

seeing sexiness in bodies that look like ours,

complementing each other’s scars

for being the beauty marks

left by the war

we are often forced to fight against our bodies

by the medical model

by culture

by society

by those who believe that crip

and sex

can never come together in a recipe of lust

because we must

institutionalize desire,

lock it in a jar,

keep it as a treat

or a reward

reserved for the able-bodied.

 

Disabled people are hot.

Crippin’ sex must begin with acknowledging that.

It must begin with eradicating our internalized ableism first,

pulling it by the roots with our bare hands

while reminding ourselves

that able-bodiedness, really, is

overrated,

and that we don’t have to measure up

to anybody because everybody

and every body

is already equipped

with everything and anything

needed to give

and receive

pleasure.

Crippin’ sex means embracing all that

while translating our differences

into lust

and deliciousness,

and into the power of knowing

we’re the only ones existing

in our disabled bodies

because, for us crips,

body ownership

is the SEXIEST gift

we can ever give to ourselves

and to our lovers,

and the most revolutionary, controversial battle

we ever have to win

because there is no crippin’ sex

without body ownership.

 

Crippin’ sex is about dismantling the censorship

of our crip sexuality, and telling it like it is

without having to sugarcoat anything

for the sake of non-disabled ignorance.

Crippin’ sex means

calling ableism for what it is,

confronting it

while owning our crip sexuality

without apologies

or regret

because we no longer forget

how fucking sexy we are,

how fucking hot,

and how in charge we are

of our crip sexy badass selves.

 

Crippin’ sex is

about believing all this to be true

for it to be true,

and about being true

to our word.

It means making crip a verb

and conjugating ourselves

into  Love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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