Hello My Loves:

Happy V. Day to all of you.   I want to take advantage of this being a day known as the day of love and romance, to bring you a love gift of my own.   Below is a whole entire piece from Poetic Confessions, Volume II.  Please know it has “strong language” aka names of body parts below the waist and words that would be considered not suitable for minors.

Having made the above disclaimer, please enjoy the beautiful poem below as a Valentine’s Day gift and, hopefully, as bait to make you want to bite the whole fish which is the gorgeous 300 page collection of poetry I know you will love.

 

Immense Love,

 

The Goddess On Wheels

 

Poem To My Gay Boyfriend

 

It was your mother

who told me you were gay

one day when I called looking for you

summers after our college days had faded

into the routine

of everyday life.

Your life and mine

had unfolded

into the stories we didn’t tell ourselves

back then.

 

“He’s gay.” She said,

but it was almost as in relief

that you didn’t end up

with a cripple instead.

 

What she said was true…about you being gay, I mean.

I should have always known.

You were too perfect

and too beautiful to be straight.

Your soul was too full of life for a heterosexual male

when most only think

with their dicks.

 

Instead,

you treated me with love

and took me to your room where you showed me

your seashell collection

and your circumcision scar,

both

as if they were a masterpiece….

a treasure of some kind.

You didn’t let me touch your shells,

but you let me touch your penis

treating me like a virgin girl

touching one for the first time

although I was twenty-one

and have seen a few penises come

and go

by then.

 

With you it was

like a platonic romance.

Sexual contact between us

never went beyond that time

when I caressed your dick

while we talked

about politics and school…

things that were then cool

to talk about, I guess.

 

I just remember that day

being with you

satisfied my hunger,

made me feel understood,

made me feel wanted

although we didn’t fuck.

We just lied there,

me, with your semi limp dick in my hand

while you fed me metaphors and fairytales

of ancient seashells and evil spirits.

-None of which I believed

but told you that I did

in hopes of making time last

a little longer,

wanting to eternalize

that moment with you.

 

Ever since then,

we became the best of friends.

You silently accepted

the boyfriend role, the heterosexual label

you forced yourself to wear

while I tried to strip myself

off the ones that labeled me crippled…

unwanted

untouchable.

 

You were the opposite of that.

You were

romantic walks in the park

and being seen in public with a hunk—

displays of public affection I so craved

because they made me feel “normal”.

 

You were my trophy man,

the boyfriend who signed his full name

on my body cast when I woke up from surgery one day,

the one who brought me flowers,

lightning bugs in a jar

and Mexican jumping beans.

I set the bugs free, but kept the beans for years

even after they had stopped jumping.

 

Our romance

had the lifespan of a college semester.

You then moved away

to a campus out of town

and I moved on to my own plans

although I don’t’ even remember what they were.

I just remember you

filling a role that needed filling,

filling the vacancy in my heart

during a time in my youth

when being seen

with an able-bodied man

made the lies I told myself

feel like truths

perhaps because that was

what I needed

to sustain myself

and feel whole.

 

And I loved you for that.

I loved you for lying to me

as strange as it may seem to some

and even to me

sometimes.

 

That day when I talked to your mother,

I wasn’t shocked she said you were gay.

I think deep down we knew

each other’s truths

and everything else in between

without saying a thing.

 

We just slipped

in and out of the costumes we wore

to fit in.

Yes. That’s what we did

to find a spot in the world

as we knew it.

 

I just wish you would have shared

your true self with me

instead of playing the straight boyfriend role,

but I guess in some ways

it would have taken the magic away,

and you seemed to know

I needed those lies

when I looked into your eyes

looking for love.

 

And you were

Love.

Love in my time of hunger.

Love in my time of need.

You were, indeed,

a gift….

one I unwrapped with care,

and I don’t care

what some may think or say.

 

It is what it is.

 

Thank you for being in my life,

for not outing my lies

although that kept YOU

in the closet.

Thank you for the romance

you painted

in the landscape of my past.

There is a special place

in my heart, for you.

 

I hope you know

I will always

love you.

 

https://www.amazon.com/Poetic-Confessions-Maria-R-Palacios/dp/0997851090/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1484062525&sr=8-2&keywords=Maria+R.+Palacios

 

 

 

 

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